When you’re done having kids – How do you know?

I always thought I wanted a big family – 4 kids at least! For us, it took a recent pregnancy and a miscarriage (of what would have been our third child) to realise that we were truly done and happy with just the gruesome twosome.

I love pregnancy and thanks to my daughter’s birth – I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. But the third child that comes with it all? It seems we hadn’t given that part much thought when we rushed into trying again.

Here’s why we’re done having kids and why two feels right for us…

Two feels neat and tidy – a third would most definitely bring chaos. We’re very lucky to have been blessed with two happy, loving children who sleep well – There is no way in hell that we’re going to hit the jackpot a third time!

I’m still in control (at least I feel that way) – I only have two hands, one to hold onto each child. How do you hold onto three when you’re on your own? I struggle to walk the dog and both kids as it is.

We’re still in control – it’s even easier when we’re out as a family. I take one child and my partner takes the other. Sorted.

We’re well balanced – Our family of four consists of two males and two females. There’s no outnumbering going on under this roof.

The car issue – also the house and holiday issue… It seems everything is built around being a family of four. I LOVE my BMW. You will not catch me dead in a ‘mummy wagon’.

School fees – We have an amazing choice of primary state schools in our area but we’re severely lacking decent secondary schools. This means that we’re looking at sending our children to private school for their secondary years… You can’t really send one and not the other(s)!

No middle child issues – Is there such a thing as middle child issues? Well, I’m one of three, the eldest, and the middle one has issues… So yes, maybe it is a thing. With two children, we have an eldest and a youngest. Simple.

Our dinner table feels full – there is no one missing. Our family feels complete.



Family of four just feels right for us.

How many children do you have? Are you done? How do you know? I’d love to hear your thoughts x



  1. October 24, 2017 / 3:38 pm

    It’s great that you feel such balance and completeness with the size of your family!! I have four and am due to have our fifth in January. She will be our last, we always wanted five. My husband grew up with three brothers and a sister and I had three sisters so lots of children is what feels right for us. 🙂 It is a great place to be when you know you’re done and you feel GOOD about it! XO

    • October 24, 2017 / 4:34 pm

      Congratulations on your pregnancy! What a lovely big family you have. I’ve just added your blog to my reading list, thank you and good luck with your birth x

  2. October 24, 2017 / 5:25 pm

    I always wanted a big family too. I only have 1 son right now and he is almost 2. We will have another eventually. But right now, I’m still in the phase of being content with just my son. He’s my little sidekick. While I know I would absolutely love another one (and I will one day), I’m not sure I’m ready to lose the one on one with my son yet. We do everything together and right now, and I’m content with just him. When the times right, I’ll know 🙂

    • October 24, 2017 / 5:28 pm

      I felt the same (and that feeling worsened when I was pregnant with my 2nd) but knew I wanted a close-ish age gap! My son and daughter have an age gap of 2.3 years and they absolutely adore each other. I wouldn’t change it for the world x

      • October 24, 2017 / 5:55 pm

        That’s awesome! Good to know I’m not the only one that feels that way!

  3. October 24, 2017 / 5:26 pm

    I’m glad you have recognized that your family is complete! A family is a family no matter how big or small. 🙂

    • October 24, 2017 / 5:29 pm

      I was sure I wanted more and really envy bigger families but this number is right for us 🙂

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